if your girl doesn't have a medical license she is not legally allowed to rearrange your guts
I’m about to commit malpractice
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This week:
A 19 year old passenger with her baby, who only spoke spanish, missed her connecting flight due to weather and would have been stuck sleeping in the airport but my co flight attendant (who spoke spanish) booked her commuter hotel for her and gave her a free room for the night
Another passenger missed her connecting flight home but since she lived just under an hour from me I gave her a ride from dc to virginia beach
My pilot was contacted by the wife of a pilot he'd flown with (who later killed himself) because she'd found a photo of their crew at dinner, so now he takes group photos of every crew he hangs out with, just in case
Another passenger missed her connecting flight and was crying because her mom was in hospice so 2 other passengers who did not know her offered to rent a car and carpool down to jacksonville together
An actor who I will not name but who I'm a huge fan of was in line at the airport pizza place in front of me and my co flight attendant (also a fan) and we were trying so hard to be cool about it and he could tell and he paid for our food because "You all take such good care of us in the air, we should take care of you on the ground."
The van driver for our new orleans overnight heard me say I was vegetarian but wished I could try authentic gumbo and called his friend who is a chef and then drove us to the restaurant where I was given a creole style vegetarian gumbo he'd improvised
After a terrible night which saw me and my co flight attendant trying for 4 hours to get hotel rooms from our airline, the night clerk at a hotel finally took over the phone call and reprimanded them on our behalf, dictating the exact paperwork she needed sent over and then expedited the process so she could give us rooms
When I was little I showed a flight attendant a picture of a ladybug life cycle I drew myself, and he sat down in the empty seat on the other side of the aisle and drew a flipping plane and holy cow that was the first experience I had of someone drawing and drawing amazingly well. I wonder how he's doing...
I still have the drawings! And the notebook!
The notebook in question:
The terribly childish drawings in question:
LOOK AT THIS
I DIDN'T EVEN REALISE HE'D WRITTEN MY NAME
Flipping heck 🤣🤣🤣
Oh yeah, this was a Virgin Australia domestic Brisbane to Sydney flight which I'd done with my family multiple times at this point.
Btw I was 8.
Gerome Gardiner, I have cherished this drawing all throughout my childhood, and if you ever see this, thank you for taking the time on a pretty empty flight to draw me something with such beauty that I have carried it throughout my life.
But I feel I should apologise because I have not kept up my drawing skills and neither have I had much time or energy to do so 😅
I paint pictures with words now ✒️📖💻
One day I'll show you one of my stories! 😁
ALTPOV: mister Devon Price, PhD, telling me that I am right about everything
Source: Unmasking Autism, discovering the new faces of neurodiversity
Hey. Your matter recalls cosmic explosions and you tasted oblivion before you learned your own name. Fear nothing.
went to miami to recover father sotirios. and made some new friends.
these animals... they are wise. I recruited them to avenge my dear brother. I was then escorted out of the sea world.
Better than the 1596 Marseille dolphin exorcism I suppose.
In 1596 dolphins were infesting the port of Marseille. Back in those days, y’see, dolphins didn’t have the cuddly image they enjoy today. They were pests and were causing damage.
So the cardinal of Avignon sent the bishop of Cavaillon to do something about them. In front of a huge crowd, the bishop sprinkled some holy water into the waters of the port and told the dolphins to begone. Whereupon the dolphins indeed turned tail in terror and fled, and were never seen again.
Still not as dramatic as Saint Bernard excommunicating the flies though.
What happened to the flies?
Saint Bernard of Clairvaux built a monastery in 1124, but it was plagued by flies. So the good saint promptly excommunicated them. By the next day the flied had died in such quantities that they had to be shoveled out.
Still not as nutty as the Basel rooster trial though.
*everyone in unison* um what rooster trial?
In 1474, a rooster in Basel did the heinous and unspeakable act of laying an egg. As everyone knows, an egg laid by a rooster will hatch into a basilisk (or cockatrice).
So to avoid the creation of a cockatrice (or basilisk), the rooster was tried, found guilty, and burned at the stake along with its egg. A huge crowd was present.
The “rooster” in this case was likely a hen that had developed male characteristics (it happens).
Still not as properly legal as the Savigny pig trial though.
Ok, clearly you want an excuse to talk about the pig thing, and I now DESPERATELY want to hear about the pig thing, so PLEASE tell us about the Pig Thing.
In 1457 a sow killed Jehan Martin, a five-year-old boy in Savigny. For that crime she was put on trial and judged guilty, and sentenced to be hanged from a tree.
Her piglets, however, were judged to have been innocent of the murder, and so were returned to the owner, with the caveat that he had to surrender them to the law if they were later found to have eaten any of the boy.
Not to be confused with a whole bunch of other, similar porcine trials.
I won’t mention the 1454 excommunication of eels in Lake Geneva then.
the seaquarium of miami banned me from visiting for life if anyone even cares.
